I said that I would keep this up regularly and I haven't. I apologize.
Job is still there. Still going great! But there is something else that has crept up. On Monday my mom was diagnosed with the early stages of breast cancer. Talk about a punch to the gut! My dad has battled cancer so I'm no stranger to this. But nonetheless, it still sucks! I talked to God silently in the shower that night. Crying, asking why, begging Him to take all this away. After that I felt A LITTLE better. But I was still hurting. Really didn't want to go to work the next day, but I did. I cried in front of my boss and co-workers. Funny how crying helps make you feel a little better, a little at a time.
Then on Thursday I grabbed my moms "Women of the Bible Study Bible." Through out it there are pages dedicated to certain women mentioned in there. Women such as Eve, Ruth, Mary, Anna, ect. I have only read about four women so far. But the one woman that caught my attention was Sarai (later called Sarah, aka Abraham's wife). Whenever she overheard a complete stranger say that she would have a child she just scoffed at the notion. I mean think about it. She was WAAAAY up in age when she FINALLY gave birth to Isaac. She became fearful when that same person asked her if there was anything that was "too hard for the Lord?"
She gave up her doubt and fear and left it to God. She gave up on trying to control her situation. Sarah made room to allow God to do His work His way. What was once Abraham's dream was now hers. And you know, the funniest thing happened. Within a year, she gave birth to Isaac. And the laughter of doubt turned to laughter of joy and happiness. There is a scripture mentioned on the study of Sarai/Sarah. The second half of 1 Peter 3:6 says: "You are Sarah's daughters if you do what is right and do not give way to fear."
I want to be considered Sarah's daughter. I just have to let go of this fear that I have about mom's cancer and trust in the Lord. Trust that He knows what He's doing. I lay it all at His feet. Every fear, every doubt.
